I cant explain to you why I need it so bad in my life. Some people just have while others don't. I have it, but normally when I'm with a friend but when I am on my own I struggle a bit.
I am slowly working on it though. I'm talking to people at work and stepping out to do stuff. I'm slowly finding out that this is something that you cant read about and find it. You have to earn it and work on it. Its apart of you and its something that you need to find on your own over a period of time.
I imagine with time and work, I will be able to achieve the things that the people I envy do. Crowds wont be at bad and I can speak my mind. I might still care what others think while I'm doing it but the whole point of me being able to stand up there alone on my own is all I need.
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