Future

All this time i kept wanting to get out and when i finally got the opportunity i froze. I'm still not sure if my excuses were legit or if they were just that, excuses. The more i think about it the more i realize that I'm scared. I don't think I'm ready but then again to we ever know when were truly ready to be on our own. I feel like everything is happening so fast and I'm about to be thrust out into the world on my own.

The way i see it is that i have three options, The safe route, the risky route and the route where i don't come back. The safe route as we all know is Ivy Tech. I get to stay home work my two jobs, not pay for anything and stay with my friends. I'm not getting a great diploma but in the end I'm not to worried.

The risky route is going to Manchester. I will technically be on my own but ill still be living close enough to home that i get to see my family. The tuition is a lot and id be paying a lot more money but the degree i would earn there is almost worth it, not to mention the concept that i get to travel abroad.

Now we talk about the route where i don't come back. Six hours away from here is a school called university of southern Indiana. I would love to go there but i would be so far away that i would rarely come home. Id lose my Friends and everything in my old life will become distant. but i would be starting new. i would finally be free and tuition there is cheaper then Manchester.I loved that college from the moment i first visited. Everything about it feel right except the location. This is the college i want but I don't know if losing everything is worth gaining the unknown.

 My future is riding on this month. Anything that happens now will be the deciding factor. Now though is when i need to decide if i want to start thinking for my self and my own well being or if i want ot worry about everything i could lose. I have 7 days till I find out my future so excuse me if im a bit on edge these next few days.