And the record keeps on spinning..

I was actually planning on making this post private but whats the point, odds are ill complain about it to the world forever. To start with, these last 3 days have been horrible. Gage came this weekend and we got to hang out which was super fun, i even got to meet his foster fam. It was all good until I'm pretty sure he ditched me. See I could get over that because it was for his family. The part I cant get over is that once he left he stopped talking to me. Looks like he got what he wanted and ditched. I shouldn't be surprised to be honest. On top of all of this i have been dealing with a lot of problems at school. I guess i just need to get my head out of my ass and actually start doing thing. My panic attacks are coming back worst and worst. last night I actually had to leave Hellman because I couldn't breathe. Of course Dilan Nate and Katie came and found me and helped me out. Its nice to have people that care around. Well they took me back to Hellman and I went to Wabash with Holly Chris and Whitney. They knew i was having a horrible night so Holly stopped the car and made all of us spill our guts to each other. The best part of the night by far was the fact that we blared Journey the rest of the way home. Who knew we were all such talented singers? Anyway I just got back from math class and lets be honest, I wasn't paying attention. Instead I was thinking about how I act in relationships. I'm beginning to notice a pattern. Apparently when ever I like a guy and don't think that there is a possibility of a relationship, i tell them, examples of this are Chris K. James, Gage. Jon (I didn't exactly want that one) Brandon. And then you have the guys that i do like or did like that i never told them such as Zac, Zeth, Chris H, and Jordan (Yes of course Buzbee is included) But I do have my acceptations such as John. Not sure where he falls on my ridiculous love diagram. You know I'm beginning to wonder if i would ever be able to survive if there wasn't some stupid boy thing in my life. IM so use to there always being something going on in some way.