Shoot Me

Seriously how am I suppose to feel right now. I mean the one guy I really wanted to be with doesn't care for me. I feel like this is the gage thing all over again. Now every things going to be weird between us. Fucking great. God I just know that Holly had something to do with this. I swear on my life that she said something to him to convince him not to be with me. Granted I'm pretty sure he likes her which leaves me to wonder why would I want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. I guess i just miss the comfort of having someone that was there for me but I'm not gonna lie, I really did like him, like alot. I don't know what I'm suppose to do now. I mean. Ive been rejected by both Gage and Chris this week. My brother tried to commit suicide, I re-injured my knee. And I got fucking success netted again. This week really blows and at this point in time I can really feel a panic attack coming on. You know i really don't blame him for not  wanting to be with me. I'm fucked up, I'm obnoxious, I truly would be a horrible girlfriend. Doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt...