You know normally I go through this faze where after a guy dismisses me I try to analyze every possible thing that happened in the relationship and where exactly i messed up. This time I kinda feel like its a bit different.
I mean theres a knowing fact that I know Gage and Deanna aren't going to last and that I will be here when he comes back. Theres also the concept that for some reason I know Gage will be apart of my life. i know that sounds totally cray but Ive thought that since I was a freshman in freaking high school. That's probably why Ive never been nervous around him. I just know that some how, some way me and him will be apart of each others life's. I mean It might not be in a relationship, i might just be his close friend, and it might not be right now but it will happen.
God I cant get over how crazy I'm sounding. I need to go talk to him. He needs to know that i want to be his friend but in order for me to do that i need to take some time and get over him, who knew id actually fall for him? Either way, hes still a great guy and i know that with time me and him could so rock the friend status, but for now i need some TLC in the Gage and Amanda separation department.
I think the main part of this though is that when I mention it all to Gage I'm really hoping that he wont just dismiss me and be on his way. Dude we should so be friends! We have way to much in common for him to think that theres nothing there. Maybe in the long run we can build a big brother little sister relationship. That would be kinda cool but first I would have to get over the concept that I like and slept with my brother... ewww.
Either way I'm not going to dwell, I'm gonna look at this whole situation with a positive out look and hope for the best.
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