Moving Forward

You know I'm not quite sure what I'm suppose to do this summer. this is suppose to be the last summer of my life and I'm suppose to go crazy but to be honest i really don't want to. I just want to get away..

I have yet to break the news to my mom about how I'm going to live the remainder of my summer out at my dads but i have a feeling shes not going to take it to well. I just need a new environment. Here i was the whole time stimulating that i needed new people in my life but to be honest i thinks its also the environment. I will not lie. I love all the people that are in my life but i just feel like they take me for granted. A lot of the time they only talk to me when they want something or when there bored. I'm not going to deal with that anymore.

I was just going to head out in September when i went to college but i think i get when no one wants me around so I'm going to go head up to russiaville and hang out with some friends there. I don't think ill be there the whole summer but i want to be there long enough that I've had time to re-evaluate my life.

I hate thinking about it but my life has changed again like it did sophomore year but this time i want to be ready for it and have more control over what happens. I'm about to leave for college and that will be the next four years of my life. Am i seriously going to live it worrying about the past or worrying about people who don't care about me? I don't think so!

There is that slight chance that the people I'm getting away from have no idea what there doing and maybe i am being a bit rash but isn't there a saying that says you don't know what you've lost till its gone? well I'm not leaving permanently and if they want to stay in my life then there going to have to put in the effort that Ive been putting in. This isn't a one way street.

I just time for some deep thinking and i think the best place to do that is in a quiet relaxing environment, surrounded by people who actually care.